If He Chose Abnegation (Divergent)
by rhythmix
Summary: This is basically a story of what would have happened if Tobias and Tris chose Abnegation instead of Dauntless. It starts during Tobias's Choosing Ceremony. It's in Tobias's Point Of View. Rated T just in case. Enjoy :)!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

I wait in line next to the Abnegation girl and Amity boy. My heart beats faster than ever. I didn't know it could beat this fast. I see people walking forward, grabbing a knife, cutting their palm and squeezing their blood into a bowl. I can't hear anything apart from my heart beating. I have never been this terrified. I have never had to make a decision like this. I've always had other people make my decisions for me; I never liked it. But right now, I can't help but wish someone would take this responsibility. I don't want to make an unwise decision that I will later regret. Is it because I don't want to hurt anyone? No. My changing of factions would hurt no one. Nobody would get hurt. Nobody and nothing, except my father's reputation. His reputation was what got me hurt all these years, and now it's what will get him hurt.

I suddenly wake up from my trail of thoughts when I see the Abnegation girl beside me stumble in front to get her knife. I watch her as she slits her palm with trembling hands and holds her hand over the Abnegation bowl. It's that easy. Twenty seconds. That is all it takes to decide your future.

"Eaton, Tobias"

I suddenly find myself moving forward. I don't remember deciding to do that, but I soon find myself with a knife in my hand. I walk forward so I'm standing between the bowls, and I see Tori. Tori, who told me to make my own decision. I turn to the other side and I see Marcus. Marcus, who pushed me to make his decisions. I want to get away from him, and I want him to hurt. Choosing Dauntless may be the only way to do that, but choosing Dauntless to get away from what I fear is cowardice. I can't be Dauntless if I'm a coward. All my life I've leaned towards safety. I'm not about to let it go because of fear. I'm going to face my fear, and the only way to do that is to stay.

I feel a sharp sting and I look down and realize that I had pushed the knife into my skin and it went far deeper than I intended for it to go. I lift the knife and my trembling hand, and hold it over the Abnegation bowl. I watch my blood drop onto the gray stones and I feel a suffocating sensation in my chest. Did I make the wrong decision?

I walk away from the bowls and into the crowd of the Abnegation. I don't look at my father, but I can still see him smirking. Images of his wicked face are instilled in my head and I do not need glances to ignite the memory. His face is all I can see. But I'm not looking at it; I'm not looking at anything. The room suddenly vanishes and I'm standing in my bedroom. I see him come toward me with his strangling expression. He doesn't have a belt with him, but I think I would prefer the belt to whatever is coming my way. He wraps his hand around my throat and squeezes tighter than ever, tighter than I knew he could. I cough and wheeze and choke and I blink my eyes and the image is gone. But the feeling isn't. I feel suffocated. I feel choked. I didn't choose safety; I chose death.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I wait with the rest of the Abnegation as the other factions leave the Hub. We are always the last to leave. I have never been to the Choosing Ceremony before because of my father, but it doesn't take an Erudite to figure out who leaves last. It's ironic that I am torn between two factions that could not be more opposite- Dauntless, who leave first, who are always loud, who have courage to do anything and say anything; and Abnegation, who leave last, are always quiet, and never say more than a sentence to one another. I'm torn between two halves of myself. But am I really brave? Am I really selfless? Perhaps I'm neither. Perhaps I don't belong in either of these factions. Maybe I should quit. Maybe I should become factionless. You can leave a faction, but you can't leave yourself. Even the factionless are not empty. No matter where you go, you will always have your personality and who you truly are. You can't escape it.

I snap out of my daze when I see the gray blobs of Abnegation move around stacking chairs and cleaning the bowls. This would be Abnegation's description of pandemonium, but it doesn't seem like anything more than people doing their job in an unorganized manner. In this "chaos", I creep out of the room and run down the stairs. I run out of the Hub and keep going until my lungs burn. I don't want to go back there, I don't want to be Abnegation. But it is who I am. It is what I chose. I chose the safety of familiar surroundings and left the freedom of being away from him. I feel a stifling pain in my chest and it isn't because of the run, it's because of fear. I fear being a coward. I fear being around my father. It is fear I have to overcome, and the only way to do that is to face my fear head-on.

I realize I am thinking like the Dauntless, if they ever think at all. It seems to me that they never think about anything, and that's why they're so fearless. I admire their bravery. Maybe I am made for Dauntless, but it doesn't matter now. I cannot change my decision, so I must learn to mould my bravery into selflessness. They both don't sound very different. Maybe I am in the right place. I start walking, but I don't know where I'm going. I just walk forward until I reach the end of the Abnegation sector. It's been long enough for someone to realize that I'm gone.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Where were you, Son? I was worried sick!" My father exclaims as I walk through the front door. It isn't with his usual malice, and that scares me. I stop in the middle of a footstep and see why his reaction was so placid- There are people sitting at our dining table. Not just any people, it's his co-worker and his family. Andrew Prior. I had no idea people were coming over for dinner.

"Sorry, Dad. I just.. I wasn't feeling very well. I cut too deep with the knife" I reply, as plainly as possible. He puts on his best worried look. If I didn't know his true intentions, I might believe that he's actually worried.

"Oh, Tobias! We must fix that immediately. Why don't you go upstairs and put some gauze on that and get some rest?" he replies.

"Tobias, why don't you come down after you fix your wound? We would surely like your presence at the table," says Andrew Prior, with a smile on his face. It's hard to believe that everyone else sees Marcus as a selfless and great leader. It almost makes me laugh. Marcus has an image in front of people- one he does not want to ruin- so he simply nods his head, but I can see him shooting daggers at me with his eyes.

I quickly walk up the stairs and go into the bathroom. My hand is covered with blood. I put it in the sink and run some water over it. Right after it touches my skin, it turns a dark shade of pink, and I think_, __this is what my blood would have looked like in Erudite water._ I immediately see Erudite as another possibility. I could have gone to the faction that values knowledge above everything else. I am quite curious. I do wonder why people do things. But am I smart?

I realize that the blood has stopped flowing and I turn the tap off and wrap some gauze around my palm. I take my time as I walk down the stairs, and reach the dining table. I just stand behind an empty chair next to Andrew Prior's daughter. I don't quite remember her, but people in Abnegation are hardly ever remembered. Unless they're a leader.

Marcus clears his throat. "This is my son, Tobias," he says as he gestures towards me. I sit down, uneasily. I see Andrew Prior and Natalie Prior, his wife, smiling at me. I do not see it, but I sense confusion in their expression. They all want to know why, in sixteen years, this is practically the first time they're seeing me.

"Hello Tobias," says Andrew Prior," It's a delight to meet you. I am Andrew, this is my wife, Natalie, and these are my children, Beatrice and Caleb."

He tries to keep his introduction short; it is common Abnegation courtesy to never say much about yourself. I look at all four members carefully, first at Andrew, then at Natalie, then at Caleb, and lastly at Beatrice. Caleb and Beatrice are fourteen, if I remember correctly. They are typical Abnegation children- quiet, selfless and small. They still have two years to decide their future. I wish I could just have two more minutes, it would change my life. Caleb and Beatrice look shy and quiet, but I see something in them; uncertainty. Not particularly in Caleb, but Beatrice has an air of awkwardness around her. Maybe she's just always like that, or maybe she feels she doesn't fit in. I've never noticed it when I saw her on the street walking past the other Abnegation, bobbing her head in greeting. She wears loose gray clothes and her blonde hair is tied in the same way as every other Abnegation girl, but she looks as if she feels she doesn't fit in. I know because I often see the same in myself. I do not need a mirror to see it. I can feel it in the way I walk, the way I talk, the way I do stuff. I'm stiff. I'm scared that, if I don't do things correctly, everyone will see I'm not as selfless as I should be. That I'm flawed; showed to me through years of beating by Marcus.

The evening goes by quickly, with the adults talking a bit, and the children keeping quiet. I finish my food, wait for everyone else, take the dishes inside and wash them. Marcus says goodbye, and I quickly slip into my room and go to sleep before he has a chance to scold me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I wake up to the sound of birds chirping. I open my eyes and see darkness, apart from a sliver of light falling through the window. I get up and walk to my desk. I pick up my watch, which is the only accessory Abnegation allows and only because it's practical. My watch's strap is a dull shade of gray and it is very plain. The hands read 6:55 A.M. I run to my cupboard and pull out some clothes- a loose gray shirt, a gray jacket and loose gray slacks, typical Abnegation clothing. I hurriedly take a shower and get dressed. When I walk back to my room, I pull out a bag from under my bed and open it. Inside, I see layers of dust covering the worn out leather. It used to be my mom's. Although it smells like rotting leather and mud, it remind me of my mother. She often used to go on small adventures with this bag when Marcus wasn't home. I never knew what she kept in here, but I'm sure it was wonderful.

My eyes drift to my desk upon the thought of my mother. The blue sculpture holds my gaze as I study it from a distance. It looks like water falling, but I never quite understood what it's supposed to be. To me, it's an item of defiance. My mother once defied Abnegation rules and secretly took self-indulgent trips and moments of freedom, and now I'm going to carry on her legacy of defiance.

The thought of carrying on something my mother once did puts a smile on my face. I suddenly feel like she would be happy. I reach for the glass sculpture and stuff it in my bag. I know that carrying an ornament into a building full of Abnegation isn't the best idea, but I can't leave the last piece of my mother at home to rot with Marcus. I need to take it. She left this item for me to cherish in her memory, and I will do that no matter what. I quickly pull out the few articles of clothing from my cupboard and shove them in my bag. I zip it up and go downstairs.

* * *

Downstairs, I see Marcus sitting by the window reading the newspaper. The area by the window is the only place in our dull living room that is actually lit this early in the morning. I walk into the darkness of our living room and sit down on a dining table chair. I don't really feel like eating but Marcus would question me if I didn't, so I grab some toast and milk and start gnawing away at the food.

It isn't long before I see Marcus put the newspaper down and get up. In my peripheral vision, I see him coming towards me and I stiffen. I lose whatever appetite I had, and my breathing becomes uneven. I lower my hand to the side of the table as Marcus puts his hand on my shoulder. I have to clutch onto the sides of the table to keep myself from shaking at the frightening point of contact. I'm scared. No, I'm terrified. Marcus didn't scold me last night, but I'm sure the scolding's coming right now. He wouldn't be here to apologize to me.

"Son.. Last night's events proved that you are not yet stable," he says.

I gulp and bite the end of my toast so that I don't look afraid. I don't think my shaking hands do a good job at hiding my fear.

"I think that it is very good you chose Abnegation. Now, the initiation instructors might help you become less of an insult to me," he says, calmly. He does not take a second's hesitation to say any of those words to me. I replay his words in my head, _I think that it is very good you chose Abnegation. Now, the initiation instructors might help you become less of an insult to me. _He said it to so plainly, as if the words do not weigh as much as they actually do. His words were paced normally, his tone calm, and he said it like it was a fact. He said it like it was a fact that I am simply an insult to him and nothing more. I don't feel like crying, but I realize that his words sting more than any of his belts. I feel like punching him, but I swallow the urge to do so. Instead, I reply, "Yes father."

* * *

In Abnegation, the transfer initiates have to go to the dormitories that they will be staying in for the next 30 days as initiates immediately after the Choosing Ceremony. Abnegation-born initiates, however, get to spend their last day at home as children, and have to be there the next morning, with or without their families. I personally think they just don't want to get the Abnegation-born initiates new items each year, so they make us get our own items. It wouldn't surprise me.

The dormitories, it turns out, is close to the end of the Abnegation sector. I've never noticed it before because it looks just like the rest of the Abnegation buildings: dull and boring. I wouldn't have found my way here if there weren't Abnegation lined up on the streets telling the initiates where to go. Most of them didn't need the help because they're here with their parents. Marcus, obviously, would hate to be seen in public with me. I don't know if many people remember me, but I hope not. I don't want to be recalled as Marcus's son, even if this is our faction.

I walk through the wooden doors and gray blobs fill my vision. I see dozens of Abnegation crowded in this tiny room, each one saying goodbye to his or her family, with no tears to be shed. It looks like it would be very noisy, but because this is Abnegation, I don't hear more than a word or two and a few muffled whispers. I hug the walls and walk towards the end of the room where I see a sign that says "Initiates".

It doesn't take long to navigate my way through the crowd of smiling strangers, most of them moving out of my way without my asking them to. I would offer them smiles, but I wouldn't find a smile if I searched each and every corner of myself.

At the end of the room, I see a narrow passage leading to wherever the initiates are gathered now. I hold the leather bag close to my body as I bend down and walk through the passage. Two years ago, I would've been able to walk through without difficulties, but last year's growth spurt has had its effects on me. I'm tall and skinny, so nobody really looks at me. I like that. Attention is one thing I hate. I don't know whether it's because I was taught to hate it, or whether I actually hate it. Maybe I'll never know.

I reach the end of the passage and open a door that leads me into a bright gray room. This room is much bigger than the entrance room and it is also much brighter. I see windows covering almost an entire wall, and chairs laid out around the room. A few of them are occupied. I walk in and see that the ceiling is much lower than the one in the front room. It is just a few inches above my head, and I have to bend down a bit so I don't feel like my head's going to bang into it. I see a few eyes follow me as I walk to one of the chairs, dragging my bag along. It's gotten heavy in my hands, probably because of the glass. I wasn't careful to make sure it didn't break as I moved, so I just pray that it hasn't. I sit down in one of the chairs, next to a small girl in loose gray clothes, with her dark brown hair in a bun. Her hair colour looks a bit like mine, but it's slightly lighter. Maybe that's because of the sun. I notice she doesn't have very unique features, until she turns to face me and smiles. I see dimples poking into the sides of her face and I force myself to smile. I somehow manage to do it.

I hear someone clear their throat and my attention jerks back to the front of the room, where I see a woman standing. She isn't young, but she isn't old either. Probably in her mid thirties. She has blonde hair which almost looks brown. It's tied in a very neat, if not perfect, bun with clips securing stray strands of hair in place. She wears a huge smile and her lips look bright red against her pale skin. Her eyes are a dark shade of brown that stand out in the sunlight. She wears a gray shirt with a loose skirt. _Probably the clothes of the instructors_, I think.

"Hello initiates!" she says,"My name is Sarah and I will be one of your initiation instructors. Firstly, I would like all of you to introduce yourselves. This is simply an icebreaker and we will hopefully learn more about each other and understand how we can help one another"

She points to a girl sitting in the first row and she obediently stands up and says,"My name is Elise." She's very small and I can hardly believe that she's sixteen after I hear her nasal and high-pitched voice. I barely listen to the rest of the names, and when it's my turn, I stand up carefully and stare into empty space. I don't want to be known as 'Marcus's Son' here, but I have no choice. I suspect some people already know who I am.

"I..I'm T..Tobias." I choke out. No. I must not be afraid. I should show people that this name does not have to be connected to Marcus. "I'm Tobias," I say, more confidently this time. I stand up straight but I stay wary of the distance between my head and the ceiling. Sarah loses her smile for a second, but she quickly wears it again. Did I do something wrong? I sink back into my chair as she motions for me to do so. I feel my hands trembling as a part of my realizes what I may have done- I stood up straight and spoke up like I was from a different faction, namely Dauntless. My connection to Marcus can't speak for my actions. I have to act Abnegation, or I may be shunned from the nicest society ever.

I wake from my daze when the dark-haired girl next to me stands up and speaks.

"My name is Ashley," she says. Her words are perfectly crisp and she speaks loud, unlike the other initiates. She stands straight and her posture is very different. She's very vibrant and her energy transmits through the room, making it seem brighter and louder and happier. That is, until she says the next line-"I transferred from Dauntless."

I suddenly feel scared. I'm sitting next to a Dauntless. The faction supposed to be cruel and harsh and fearless. She must have asked someone for help to do her hair. Unlike Ashley, every other transfer wears their previous faction's clothes. I see a girl in red and a boy in black and white- Amity and Candor transfers. Even if they didn't wear different clothes, their posture and expression would have revealed their previous factions. Ashley has made an attempt to act like the Abnegation. Is she that eager to let go of her old faction? What did Dauntless do to her that made her want to leave it so bad?

I keep pondering over my own questions until I see the last boy in the crowd stand up and introduce himself. I hear him say his name is Gabe, and he sits down. After a few seconds, Sarah holds her arms out, smiles and says,"Welcome to Abnegation!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

All the initiates are crowded in the front room of the dormitory building. Sarah was quite vague about what all the instructors were going to do, but I suppose it has something to do with dividing up the initiates. This year there are many initiates compared to the other years, as I'm told. The rooms in the building are small, so it looks like there are a lot of people in here but there are only about twenty.

I stand at one end of the room and look through the still and quiet crowd at Ashley, who is on the other end. She stands alone, with people keeping their distance. Not many Dauntless transfer to other factions, especially not to Abnegation. I don't blame them. They're free and fun and lively and always loud and awake and alert. I would love for that freedom to be part of my life, but it's too late to do anything about it. I observe Ashley because she is the only piece left of that life here, now that I've made my decision. Even though she's been shut out by the rest of the initiates, she wears a smile on face and I see her prominent dimples in her cheeks. She's quite tanned compared to the rest of us here, and she seems to have a natural blush on her cheeks.

Without noticing, I find myself moving towards her. The crowd makes way for me as I walk through it like I'm some murderer trying to kill them. When I reach the other wall, I find myself simply staring at Ashely, not knowing what to say.

"Um.. Hi," she says, confusion flooding her face. If someone walked up to me and just stared at my face without saying anything, I would be confused too.

I jerk myself awake and say,"Hi.. Ashley?". I don't want to sound like I was observing her too closely. I see the corners of her mouth curl up a bit as she nods her head.

"You're Tobias, right? Kind of hard to forget you.. You're Marcus's son, right?"

That's it. I've not even been here an hour and I'm already being plagued with the title of Marcus's Son. "Yes", I say, scratching the back of my neck. I really wish she hadn't brought Marcus up.

"Sorry," she says, seeming to have read my mind,"You must be missing him. I mean, families in Abnegation seem to be close. Families in Dauntless are very critical, believe it or not. You have to be brave and loud and everything they want you to be even if you want to be someone else."

I can't believe she just said that to a complete stranger. I would never have the guts to criticize my ex-faction to another faction member, especially Abnegation.

"Huh. I thought people only spoke their minds out in Candor," I reply, with my eyebrows arched. She lets out a little laugh.

"Well, I say what I want to say. I don't think a faction should confine you to a certain way of acting. It's rubbish! You can be whoever you want!"

I suddenly get scared. Speaking against the faction system is challenging the entire Government system, even if it's just in a casual conversation. I realize that I have to stay wary of this girl.

A door a few feet to my left swings open and I see a few people walk inside, one of them being Sarah. All the muffled conversation in the room seizes and nothing is heard apart from the quiet footsteps of the men and women as they walk to the front of the room. All attention turns towards them.

"Hello, Initiates!" says Sarah, with a big smile,"Today is a very big day. It is the day you will all start your initiation. Firstly, I want you to meet the instructors."The men and women step in front, as if on cue, and plaster huge smiles on their faces. There are two women and two men.

"This is Angela, this is Nina, this is Joseph, and this is Ben," she says, pointing to each person in turn. They all look like typical Abnegation, with plain features, pale skin, and neat hair. Angela is shorter than the other instructors, and she has curly black hair and bright blue eyes. They shimmer in the sunlight. Nina has freckles dotting her cheeks, with wavy blonde hair that stops just a bit below her jaw. She's very skinny and she stands with her shoulders sagging. Her pale face and lazy posture makes her look as if she's sick, but her striking smile states otherwise. Joseph has slightly squinted eyes and he's more tanned than the rest. He is the tallest and his brown hair is done perfectly. Lastly, Ben is almost white, but his bright red lips and bright blue eyes sparkle against his skin. He has a big nose but the rest of his features are small, making him look rather odd. The initiates all bob their heads in greeting and the instructors do too.

Sarah begins to say something, but I zone her out and watch Ashley instead. She has her arms crossed, and I notice that she wears pride in her posture; something that a lifetime of Abnegation training will not be able to change. I am slightly afraid of being around her, because she looks like trouble, but I sense that she could end up being someone worth befriending. Besides, I don't have many options, especially after I dropped the Marcus bomb.

Suddenly, the instructors weave through the crowds and walk to the doors they came through, with the initiates close behind. I see Ashely moving and I follow her, careful not to lose a possible friend in the crowd of gray robots. I do fear her, but I also admire her courage to speak. I would like to get to know her better.

* * *

**Hello! Thanks for reading my story!  
I've been trying to update daily, and I'm going to keep trying to do that.  
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	5. Chapter 5

**Hi guys!  
First of all, I want to thank you so much for reading and favouriting and following :)!**  
**I would really appreciate it if you left reviews, telling me what you want to read and giving me advice on how to improve my stories.  
Feel free to PM me if you have any ideas, and I might incorporate them in my story (I will give credit)!  
Well, I'll get to the fanfic now.  
ENJOY!**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

The initiates are crowded around two doors. The instructors stand before us, and stay still for a while. I'm about to ask why we're here, when Sarah speaks up.

"As you all know," she says,"You will be performing thirty days of community service for your initiation. For those thirty days, you will be staying in dormitories."

Ben and Joseph open the doors and reveal a large hallways with doors on either side and two doors on the opposite wall. The instructors walk in and the initiates follow. I notice signs on the two doors which say 'MALE' and 'FEMALE'. Restrooms, I suppose.

"For the next thirty days, you will be staying in either of these rooms," says Sarah as she gestures to the doors on the sides,"One dormitory is for men, and one for women. Angela and Nina will show the girls their dorms, while Ben and Joseph will show the boys theirs."

Sarah gestures to the instructors to start moving, and they do. Sarah then moves out of the way and stands with her hands clasped in front of her. The way they do everything in Abnegation is so mechanical it's almost creepy.

I suddenly find the crowd moving- half towards the left door, and half towards the right. I see Ben and Joseph in front of my crowd, and Nina and Angela in front of the other. I also see Ashley walking at the back of the cluster of girls, her arms folded and her hair sticking out at random angles. She looks frustrated and her expression is almost funny.

I turn my attention back to the front of the cluster of boys, and see Ben opening the double doors. Everyone starts walking through them, the instructors letting us go through first. Inside, I see beds lining two walls, and windows above each bed. There are a total of fourteen beds, seven against each wall. The walls are gray, and the floor is a strange material. It looks like cobblestone, but the texture is different. The beds are plain and simple- gray with white mattresses, white pillows and white sheets. There are windows at random intervals just a few inches above the beds and on the empty wall opposite the doors.

"This," says Ben, "Is where you will be sleeping for the next month." He gestures towards all the beds. "Pick one and come down to the meeting room in ten minutes," he continues with a smile.

Ben and Joseph leave the room and we all scramble to find a bed. I find a bed at the end of the long line of beds, and set my bag down on it. I see everybody around me unpacking their bags and stuffing the clothes into small drawers beneath our beds. I want to do that too, but I'm afraid that people will see the sculpture if I'm not careful. I decide to leave my belongings inside my bag and shove it in the drawer. People start filing out of the room when they're done and I follow them.

When we're near the stairway, I see Ashley's brown head poking out in the crowd. I rush forward and tap her on her shoulder. If I startle her, she doesn't show it on her face. She simply says,"Hey.."

"What's wrong?" I say.

"It's nothing.."

"No, tell me."

She sighs. "Fine. I feel very.. out of place here. I just.. I don't want to regret my decision, okay?"

I completely understand what she's saying. I can't find it in me to say it out loud, so I just nod my head a little.

Soon, we reach the meeting room and sit on the chairs that still crowd the floor. The air is so quiet I can hear the Abnegation boy next to me breathe. Everyone around me sits with their hands clasped on their laps and smiles on their faces. That is, everyone except Ashley. I don't know why I'm observing her so much, probably because she stands out among us all. It's like a single sequin on a dull gray dress- quite hard to miss and very out of place. I notice how she tries to sit like the other Abnegation girls but finds it really hard and soon gives up. I try to picture her in black clothes with her hair down, a knife in her hand and a furious expression on her face.

I snap out of my daze when I hear Ben's voice.

"Hello Initiates! For your initiation, we have divided you all into four groups of five people each. Every day, each group will be doing different tasks. You will now be assigned your group and your task for the day. There are three different tasks as part of your community service- packing bags to give to the needy, going around to give the items to the needy, and managing the amounts of supplies."

He says 'needy' but he means 'factionless'. I suppose the Abnegation want to make it sound like we're doing some sort of charity work and helping those in need, when we're actually helping those who failed. 'Factionless' is simply another word for 'failure'. I feel a chill run down my spine. My own thoughts often terrify me.

"Now," continues Ben,"The groups." He stops for a second, which I suppose is for suspense. "In group A, we have Elise, Gabe, Bob, Ashley and Tobias."

I heave a sigh of relief. I'm in Ashley's group. Maybe now I can finally question her about her changing of factions and her aura of secrecy. I smile at her and she smiles back at me. Part of me wants to leave the questions and just be her friend, but the other part of me wants to get to the bottom of this. Even if it means that smile may never be seen again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

I sit in the van with the others in my group. Today, my group's task is to distribute food and clothes among the factionless. There are two groups assigned to do this, but we're going to a completely different sector. Apparently the factionless are spread out further than we thought. Elise sits next to me, keeping her distance. Her small hands are clasped in her lap and she looks clueless. Next to her sits Gabe. He has light brown hair which catches the light very well. In front of us sit Bob and Ashley. Bob is probably the tallest of us all and he looks as if he hasn't slept in weeks. Next to him, Ashley looks down at her fingers as she cracks her knuckles. She looks awfully bored and her bun is falling apart. I think she's given up on trying to become Abnegation.

After a few minutes, we jolt to a stop. Somebody opens the door to the van and we file out of the vehicle. Outside, the sun beats down on my head and I crave the relatively cooler van as it drives off. Ben -our group instructor- stands in front of us, smiling as if it isn't the hottest day here. I guess the Abnegation teach you how to completely forget yourself, even if it means risking your life.

"Initiates," says Ben,"today you will be performing some community service by distributing necessities among the needy. Just because the factionless do not have a particular faction in which they belong, we don't need to completely shun them out of society and not help them. So, you will all learn how to help those in need today."

All his dialogues seem memorized and that makes me feel very uncomfortable, as if I'm speaking to a robot.

"How exactly does this teach us to be selfless?" asks an initiate. I turn to my right and see Ashley standing with her arms crossed across her chest and a puzzled look on her face. Of course. She'd be the only person to ever question authority among all of us. I see Ben standing with his mouth half open and a little dazed. I stifle a laugh. Abnegation instructors are not used to being questioned- not by initiates, not by anyone.

Ben shakes his head, waking up from his daze. He says,"There is an art to losing yourself. It is important that you learn it, and can only do so if you're constantly helping each other. If you stop for a second, self-indulgent thoughts may creep into your head. You must help people."

"But you're forcing us to help people here. This isn't our choice. How can you say we're being selfless if we're being forced?"

"Well, if you're here it is because you're selfless. We suspect that helping others is your first instinct. Why else would you choose Abnegation?"

"Maybe because we want to _learn _to be selfless."

"Well, some things are not taught. Some things are instilled in the way a person thinks. That's why we have the factions."

"I know, but... Wouldn't it be better if we were taught all the things we lack in our thinking process?"

This is bad. Ashley is questioning the faction system. Even if we are all Abnegation and don't hold grudges, this is bad.

"I'm sorry, Ashley, but.. Some things are just not meant to be questioned," says Ben, with an unreadable expression. He looks a bit scared and a bit angry. The Abnegation never get angry. This is very bad.

Ashley nods and Ben continues his speech.

* * *

We spend the rest of the day unloading trucks of food, clothes and blankets and giving them to the factionless. We are taught what we have to say, what we have to do, and how we have to do it. It all seems so mechanical. It seems as if they all expect us to behave the same and behave mechanically. I kind of understand why Ashley was asking what she was asking now- why are we forced to confine ourselves to a particular way of thinking? Even if I did agree with her, I didn't want any more reasons for Marcus to think of me as insult, not only to him, but to the entire faction. Maybe I am an insult. But I don't really care.

After we are done with community service for the day, the van picks us up and we're taken back to the dormitory building. Ashley calls it The Confinement.

We all crowd into the dining hall, which is the room we had our first meeting in. The chairs are replaced with so many tables, that I find it very hard to weave through and make it to an empty one. In the middle of the table are three bowls: One with peas, one with bread, and one with chicken. There are four chairs around each table and a plate in front of each. I fill my plate with each of the items in front of me just as Ashley sits down next to me. No other initiate joins us. She's like an Abnegation repellent.

We eat in silence for a while, until Ashley lets out a heavy sigh.

"What's wrong" I ask.

"Was it stupid? I mean, what I did today. Was it stupid to question something?"

"Maybe. I don't know. The Abnegation don't hold grudges."

"Right."

We stay silent until we finish our meals. We get up together and wash our plates. While everyone else is still eating, Ashley and I slip out of the room and into a quiet room which I didn't know existed till now.

Ashley leans against a wall with her arms crossed in front of her. I stand a few feet away, confused.

"You know, choosing Abnegation wasn't something I wanted to do," she says, looking outside a window opposite her.

I nod and her attention turns towards me.

"It wasn't easy for me. I had to leave my family behind."

"Why did you do it?"

"I had to."

"You don't _have _to do anything."

"Really? Then why did you? You don't seem too happy either."

I ponder over her question for a while, and the only answer that comes to my head is _I don't know._ Why did I choose Abnegation? I don't remember. I don't even think I had a solid reason to. My only family is dead, and Marcus is just a devil in disguise.

She lets out a heavy sigh. "Sometimes.. I wish the world were different. I wish we weren't confined to a certain way of thinking and acting."

I agree with her. I may not be too upfront about it but, somewhere deep in my head, I agree with her. I nod my head a little and she smiles a bit.

"You're the only person I can trust here. I know you won't rat me out," she says.

I'm too afraid to say anything, so I just smile back.

* * *

**Hi!  
Thanks so much for reading!****Please leave a review; constructive criticism is appreciated.  
Feel free to follow and favourite.  
Until next time :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you all so much for reviewing, favouriting and following :)!  
I really loved reading what you had to say!  
I'm not gonna keep you waiting, here's chapter 7.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

The week goes by quickly and, before I know it, it's Sunday. It is the last day of distributing food among the factionless for my group. The week has been quite uneventful and I can't wait for initiation to get over. I'll have more freedom then.

I wake to the sound of squeaking shoes against the strange floor. I gave up trying to figure out what material it is long ago. I get up, grab some clothes and rush to the bathroom. It's almost breakfast time.

When I get to the bathroom, I see Ashley standing outside the girl's bathroom, her hair dripping wet. She paces quickly in front of the door, biting her thumb nail. Her head is bent down and this is the first time I see how long her hair is.

"What's wrong?" I say.

She flicks her head up and she looks shocked and frightened.

"Nothing! Nothing.. Just nothing. Pretend you didn't see me like this..!" she says, sounding very flustered. She starts walking away, but I grab her by her arm and she stops. She stares at me, her eyes wide.

"Ashley, you can trust me."

"I know.. I know.. It's just..."

"Just what?"

"Someone might hear."

"There's no one else here."

"Yeah, but.. I'm paranoid, okay?"

"Anything I can do to help?"

"No. Just leave me alone. The last thing I need is help from a brain-dead Stiff."

That's the last thing she says to me as she yanks her arm back and storms out of the room. _'Brain-dead Stiff'_? Is that what Ashley thinks of me? She thinks I'm just another Abnegation without an independent thought in my head and that I'm incapable of helping people dealing with emotional stress? Of course she'd think that. I've spent my whole life in Abnegation anyway. I try to forget about the conversation and go inside to take a shower.

* * *

I go to the dining hall and see everyone sitting at the tables, quietly eating. I only hear the faint murmurs of conversation escaping people's lips every now and then. Everyone looks so graceful and perfect. I search for the flaw in this perfect arrangement, but I do not find it. I look around for Ashley's dark brown head and proud posture, but I don't see it. I suddenly get scared. Where is Ashley? Did she leave the dormitory building? I am worried for her because she might be the only friend I have here. Does she not realize that? Does Ashley think of me as just another one of the initiates who doesn't think? A lump forms in my throat as I think it over. Why am I worrying for a girl who doesn't even care about me? I swallow the lump and make my way to an empty table. I eat my breakfast in silence.

After a few minutes, the creaking door breaks the jarring silence. I look up and see Sarah coming through the door, a worried expression on her face. She gestures towards Ben and he walks over to her. She says something to him and his eyes pop out of their sockets. They both rush out of the room and I suddenly feel a sharp pain in my stomach. I gulp down my food, wash my dishes, and slip out of the room.

Once out, I hear faint noises coming from outside. It sounds like the muffled voice of a woman. As I near the the door, the voice becomes clearer and I recognize it. It's Ashley.

I swing open the door and it almost hits Sarah right across the face. She stares at me, horrified. I see Ben next to her, with a stern and slightly angry look on his face. Ashley stands opposite them, her hair down. She wears a worried and slightly scared expression on her face.

"What are you doing here?" asks Sarah. I hear a slight hint of annoyance in her tone.

"I.. I was just done with breakfast and I wanted to... go outside," I reply.

"Well, that's a pretty self-indulgent thing to do," she says.

Sarah's stare quickly moves back to Ashley and Ashley looks pale and frightened now.

"May I know," says Sarah,"what you were doing?"

"I.." Ashley begins to say, but I interrupt her.

"She was delivering this message to my father that I asked her to. I wanted to let him know how initiation was going and I was too afraid to go, so I asked her."

Ashley, Sarah and Ben just stare at me. I would describe Ashley's look a mixture of awe and fear, but I don't think it was meant to be that.

"Well," says Sarah,"We will try to overlook this little act and hopefully you will not do any such thing again."

"I'm sorry," I say.

Sarah and Ben walk off, and Ashley sighs.

"Oh My God.. Thank you so much," she says, panting.

"No problem, 'Buddy'" I reply. She notices the sourness in my tone and frowns.

"I'm really sorry, Tobias.. I didn't mean it when I called you a brain-dead Stiff. I was just.. angry"

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. You trust me more than anyone but you just don't wanna tell me anything."

"No, it's not that. I just really need to make sure no one else can hear it. No one else can know where I went and why I went."

"Where did you go?"

"I... I went to see my sister."

That hits me like a meteorite.

"My sister transferred here two years ago from Dauntless. I needed her help for something."

"For what?"

"For something! I can't tell you right now, but I will. Later."

She pauses for a moment, then wraps her arms around me, pulling me into a hug. I stay stone still for a moment, then wrap my arms around her too. A part of me is relieved that she is still my friend, and a part of me is worried that this friendship might be dangerous. I decide to forget everything for a while and just focus on what's happening right now. Everything aside, it feels nice to be her friend.

* * *

**Okay, I know some of you don't want Ashley and Tobias to be together. Don't worry though! It's not gonna be what you think. Trust me.  
Keep reading to find out what happens :)  
Have a great day!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay, so many of you have been wondering whether Ashley and Tobias are going to get together or whether Tris is going to make more appearances. If you don't like spoilers, I suggest you skip this little note and get straight to the story.  
*SPOILER*: No. Ashley and Tobias do not get together. I was hoping to clarify that through the story itself, but I know how suspense often kills people so I wanted everyone who was curious to get their answer! Ashley and Tobias have a complicated friendship, but they stay friends throughout the full fan-fiction. Yes, Tris (or Beatrice, as she hasn't been given the nickname yet) and Tobias get together. It won't be too official, but you'll know when it happens :)  
That said, I'll let you get on to the chapter! Enjoy!  
**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

The day goes by quickly, being very boring and uneventful as the rest. We simply go to the factionless sector, serve them food and blankets, get back to The Confinement, eat and wait for further instructions.

For the past week, we've been doing odd jobs after dinner but today, Sarah tells us we have something else to do.

All the initiates wait in the dining room, as we are told to. The air is so silent that I can hear people breathing. Ashley and I exchange nervous glances as the silence cuts deep into our sanity and makes me feel panicked, for two reasons.  
One: The stillness in the air makes the room seem smaller and I feel confined.  
Two: The Abnegation don't believe in suspense or anything like that, so whatever's happening must be bad.

I jerk myself back to life when I hear Sarah's voice break the silence. _Thank God_.

"Good Evening, Initiates, " she says in the quiet Abnegation voice I have come to associate with the voice of a mother, "Today, you will not be spending the next hour helping around the Abnegation sector. Since this is the end of the week, we have thought of giving you this time to evaluate yourselves."_ Evaluate ourselves? _I see Ashley shoot a puzzled look at Sarah, so she continues, "At the end of every week, you will all get 'Self-Evaluating Time', where you will be able to look back at the past week and think of how much you helped others, and how many times you failed to do so. Arguably, this is a self-indulgent thing to do, but we believe that teaches Initiates lessons about guilt: You should not let your thoughts linger over the things you failed to do. You just have to let the guilt remind you to do better next time."

That, if I recall correctly, is a line from Andrew Prior's lecture at the weekly meetings. It was one of the few events my father let me go to, and only because he's a leader and it would be strange not to have his own son there. The days before that were always the ones when he would spare my face.

I wake up from my trail of thoughts when I hear Ashley saying something.  
"What if we don't feel guilty?" she asks.

"Well..." says Sarah, clearly dumbfounded, "Then you're probably not reaching deep down for your feelings. There is something you could have done - there is something we all could have done - but we must be free of any self-indulgent thoughts to realize our mistakes."

Ashley nods her head, as if to say she understands, but it's clear that she doesn't. Frankly, I don't either, but I try to take Sarah's advice and I reach deep down to my inner-most thoughts to see what I find. I shut my eyes and travel through the past week in a flash, only to relive my life before the Choosing Ceremony in my mind. I see images of Marcus with his belt and angry expression; his hands in fists, ready to punch me; his split knuckles being the last things I see before I black out; his stern expression eating through me as I try to hide the large box my mother gave me. As I think of these things, I feel fear take over me and I shrink back into a tiny little child. I feel tears welling up in my eyes, but I instantly manage to stop them. The images go by fast and I see images of my mother- her sweet face as she gently rubbed my wounds with her fingers; her understanding eyes that looked into mine when she told me everything was okay; her soft touch as she took my hand and led me outside so we could take in our last moments of freedom together; her scared face as Marcus pushed her against a wall and slapped her; the fear in her eyes that hid behind every '_it's okay_'; her hands coming up to block her face from Marcus' blows. The fear is immediately replaced by sheer anger. How could Marcus do this for so many years? How did I let him? How could I let Marcus take away the one person who made my life worth living? I can't believe I let it happen. Through all that anger, I feel guilt. Guilt builds up inside me at the thought of not being able to help her. At the thought of backing away from a fight. At the thought of just _letting her die._ I might not be able to save her now, but I will avenge her death.

I suddenly feel someone shaking my shoulder. My eyes spring open and I see Ashley looking at me, clearly concerned.

"You okay? You look like you drifted off, " she says.

"Yeah, I'm okay.." I reply. I can hear my voice shaking.

"Um.. Everyone left. I said I would take care of you." She scratches the back of her neck.

"Oh"

"I thought you would like to be alone, but I didn't want to leave you alone like.. this"

"Um.. Thanks. I think I'm going to head out for a bit. If anyone asks, say I'm taking a small shower."

"Okay."

I get up from my chair and walk out of the room. Ashley doesn't follow me.

Before I head out, I go to the Men's bathroom and lock one of the shower stalls. I use the small holes in the walls which hold soaps to climb up and out of the stall. I don't want to waste water, so I don't bother turning on the shower. No one would be curious here.

* * *

Once I'm outside, I see that the sky is a strange colour. It is pink, with tints of orange. _Twilight_, I think. I've only read about this time of day before, as this is normally the time I'm getting my beatings from Marcus. I walk away from The Confinement although I have no clue where I'm going. The gentle summer breeze flows through the air, carrying the scent of freshly bloomed dandelions. The silence, unlike the one in the dining hall, is calming. I feel like I have crawled into a warm bath after being in the cold all day.

I walk on, until I see something strange. I see a figure, almost hidden behind the buildings. My first instinct is to walk back to The Confinement and pretend this never happened, but I know that I would not be satisfied with that. So, I slowly inch towards the figure.

As I get close to it, I see that it's a small girl. Her hair, which is left untied, is flowing through the breeze, and she is humming a soft tune.

"You're not supposed to be here, " I say, when she's in earshot. She's clearly startled by me, and she doesn't try to hide her fear and surprise as she whirls around and stares wide-eyed at me. I can see her shaking.

"I.. I'm sorry! I didn't.. I didn't think I'd be found.. I mean, I was on a field trip with my school to see the things the Abnegation do to help others... and... I got lost.." she says so fast that I can barely understand her speech.

I move slightly closer, and I recognize the girl from a few days ago, at the dinner table. I recognize her long, blond hair; her deep eyes; her small frame; her pale skin; and the air of awkwardness around her. It's Beatrice Prior.

"Beatrice... There's no need to worry, " I say, trying to calm her down.

"Wait... Tobias?" she says, clearly confused.

"Yes.. It's me..."

"Aren't you supposed to be doing your initiation right now?"

"Aren't you supposed to be with your school group right now?"

"Yeah, but I got lost."

"Well, I happen to be on a small... break."

"'Break'? Yeah, right. The Abnegation and breaks?"

As soon as she says that, she covers her mouth with her hands and goes wide-eyed.

"I.. I didn't mean it like that.!" she says, but I interrupt her.

"It's okay. I know, strange to think the Abnegation would ever give breaks. Or let you do anything, for that matter. They just give everything a different name here, and the name for 'break' here is 'Self-Evaluation Time'."

Beatrice laughs a bit, and I can't help but smile a little too. My eyes fall on her smile and I realize I've never seen her smile before. Her smile is really pretty - it lights up her entire face.

"I suppose this means you won't tell on me, " she says, a little scared.

"I won't. But that doesn't mean the others are as nice as I am. You might want to go look for your group again."

"I was thinking of doing that.. But then I thought of staying where I lost them. If they realize I'm gone, they might come back here to look for me, and it would be stupid to look for people when I don't know where they've gone."

"Smart."

She simply shrugs and her smile disappears. I see the air of awkwardness disappear, too.

"Something tells me you need to be back at the Dormitory Building, " she says, seeming to forget that I'm practically a stranger.

I shrug. She laughs a bit. It feels good to have a conversation with someone apart from Ashley. Someone who is not a zombie.

"Can I ask you a question... Tobias?" she asks me, biting her lip.

"Um... I guess, " I reply.

"Why... Why were you so... away from everything? Why were you such an introvert?"

I laugh a little and shift my gaze towards the ground. I gently kick a pebble and try to look casual. "I can't tell you, " I say. I immediately think that I don't trust her enough or know her well enough to tell her something this deep. "Not yet, anyway, " I add. I hope that we will get closer, though I don't know how that will be possible, given the circumstances.

"Sorry," she says.

"It's okay.. I'll just tell you this: It wasn't my decision to be so disconnected."

She stiffens at my revelation. I immediately realize it was stupid to say that. She knows that my mother died, and the only person I'm connected to is Marcus. That means Marcus wasn't letting me go outside.

She nods a little and I see the sky get darker.

"I have to go now, " I say, "Stay out of trouble."

She smiles and says, "You too."

I walk away from her, although I don't really want to. She has a strange yet appealing vibe. I get the feeling I can trust her, but I just know that I shouldn't get too attached to anybody. It's dangerous for my situation.

* * *

**That was chapter 8! Hope it wasn't a let down or anything. I wanted Beatrice and Tobias to have a slightly slow friendship/relationship, so don't worry! Please leave a review to let me know what you want me to add in this story or to let me know if there's anything I can improve on. Feel free to PM me any ideas or remarks too. Follows and favourites are appreciated too :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello Readers! To everyone who reviewed- Thank you so much! I love getting reviews, especially if they tell me what you wanna read! This story isn't fixed in any way, so I'm always open to suggestions. Feel free to leave any comments or ideas as reviews, or even PM them to me! If you feel I'm doing something wrong, please tell me.**

**I'll let you get on to the chapter now. Enjoy Chapter 9!**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

I wake up feeling a cold hand on my shoulder. My eyes spring open and I stare into the eyes of a demon - they are black pits of doom. I can only imagine what hides behind those pits. I see his mouth turned down in a frown and his eyebrows furrowed._ Marcus._ One of his arms rests on my shoulder, his fingernails pinching into my skin. I stifle a scream as I see blood on my shoulder. I can't see his other hand, but I see that he isn't wearing a belt. This can't be good.

Marcus removes his hand from my shoulder, and his fingertips are drenched in blood. I shudder at the sight. He then grabs me by my arm and pulls me out of bed. I fall off and my nose hits the floor. Hard. I know that I need to stay aware of what's happening so that Marcus doesn't hurt me too much, so I lift my head off the floor long enough to see the leather belt coming straight at me. My eyes instinctively shut and the next thing I know is I'm feeling a thick liquid flow down my face. _Blood_, I think.

I open my eyes and see Marcus getting ready to hit me again. Right before he takes enough swing, he says, "This is for your own good."

_For my own good?_

I shudder at the thought of Marcus doing something for my own good. I don't know if he's ever done something that might actually help me. Even if he was trying to be fatherly at times, I wouldn't know. Every time I look at him, I get scared. Fear races through every inch of my body - through my toes, through my fingers, through every small body part - and, this time, it does too. I suddenly feel like a small child again, backing away from fight and curling up into a ball. Then the next blow comes. This one hurts even more. I put my hand on the back of my head and searing pain goes through me. I feel a deep cut on my head and the blood framing the parts of my hand that touch it. I pull my hand back, only to see it painted dark red. Why is the sight of blood so scary when you're made of it?

I don't have enough time to ponder over my own strange questions, because the next blow comes. This time, I'm too numb to feel much. Marcus keeps hitting me until each and every part of me is covered in blood. The strange numb feeling travels through my body at a speed faster than light, and I think I'm about to bite it, when the last swing hits me smack across my face.

Then I wake up.

* * *

I'm gasping and panting and searching for air to breathe, even though I'm surrounded by it. I'm sweating and my hands are shaking. _It was all a dream, _I think. Part of me is glad that it wasn't reality, but another part of me is frightened because of the fact that Marcus even haunts my dreams.

I look around me and see sleeping bodies. Luckily, I didn't wake anyone up.

I get out of bed and somehow manage to move my trembling feet towards the bathroom.

Once I'm inside, I start washing my face. It feels like the blood is real. I wish there was a mirror in here so I could see just how many gashes I have. I constantly have to remind myself that I have none, because it was all a dream. But it didn't feel like one. I keep throwing water on my face in an attempt to wash off the imaginary blood, but nothing happens. The water stays perfectly clean as it flows back into the drain.

I breathe in and out slowly, trying to calm myself down. I grab a paper towel and wipe my hands and face. _It's alright_, I tell myself, _just go back to the room and go to sleep._

When I walk out of the bathroom, I hear faint muttering coming from downstairs. I know what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to walk back to bed, go to sleep, and pretend this never happened. I'm Abnegation. Curiosity should be foreign to me.

But it's not.

I keep telling myself to go back to sleep, but I find my feet moving in another direction; in the direction of the double doors. I carefully open the doors, trying to be as quiet as possible, and enter the dark hallway. I find the stairs and quietly climb down.

Once I'm downstairs, I see the faint flicker of a lamp in the distance. I slide around the banister of the stairs and wedge myself between the banister and the wall next to it. I lean forward so I can see the light and two dark figures talking.

"No! We mustn't let an Erudite change our faction's Initiation!" says one of the figures. _Sarah._

"We haven't any option, " replies another. _Ben._

"Tell her that we are not interested in her offer."

"I can't. She will take it to Marcus if we object."

_Marcus. _The sound of his name makes me taste bile, but I swallow it and continue listening.

"No... No... We can't have this test."

"But we must have it."

"Why?"

"Because, from all the factions, we are the only ones without any sort of serum or simulation involved in our Initiation."

"Why does that matter?"

"Because... They need to find the Divergent."

_Divergent. _That word sticks in my mind. I often read this word in Marcus' notes and paperwork, but never quite understood it. But still, if the Divergent need to be found, they are probably dangerous.

"Why must they be found? They're not a direct threat to _anyone _in _anyway_!"

There is a long pause. I'm sure Ben has no answer to this. He either has no answer, or doesn't want Sarah to find out about something. Knowing the Abnegation, it's probably the first.

Assuming that the conversation is over, I step out from the little hole I was hiding in and quietly climb back up to the sleeping rooms. Once I'm inside, I run to my bed and cover myself with the blanket, hoping to forget the entire conversation. But, for some reason, I can't. I keep playing one line in my head:_  
_

_The need to find the Divergent._

* * *

When I wake up (for real this time), I only see a few people in the room. I check my watch and see that it's already 7:55 A.M. I jump out of bed and run to get showered and dressed.

Once I'm out of the bathroom, I see Ashley coming out of the bathroom too. She walks straight ahead and outside the doors, not bothering to say hi, or even look at me. Something's wrong. I know it. I don't know what to say to her, so I just follow her out into the hallway and down the stairs.

Downstairs, I expect her to go straight to the dining hall, but she walks straight out of the building. Keeping my distance and making sure no one follows us, I stalk her to wherever she's going. I know it's wrong to invade other people's privacy and follow them, but I can't think of anything better to do, especially if she's not going to tell me what's wrong herself.

I follow her down a number of streets and I don't remember where we go, so I have no clue how I'll go back to The Confinement.

After a few more minutes of silent walking in the summer, I realize where Ashley is going. There is only one prominent place this way. _The factionless sector._

Ashley must know this place very well, because she walks through endless lanes covered with dirt, mud and trash. I have to hold my breath most of the way until I get used to the pungent smell.

Once we near the end of a lane, I slow done. I look around the corner and see Ashley hugging someone. _Her sister_, I immediately think. When they pull away, the lady's smile disappears. I recognize the similarities in their features: small noses, deep brown eyes, small faces, thin eyebrows. Her sister is quite a bit taller than her, and a little less muscular.

"What happened?" she asks. Her voice is lower than Ashley's. There must be a pretty large age difference between them.

"Last night... I heard something."

My entire body tenses right as she says this. Was she listening, too?

"What did you hear?" Her sister's voice sounds urgent now.

"They're introducing some sort of test to find the Divergent. I suspect it uses a serum or simulation of some sort." Ashley's voice croaks as she speaks. She must be close to tearing up.

"Oh no... Oh no... No.. Ashley.. You have to hide. You have to do something! Just don't... don't give yourself up."

As soon as she says that, I fit all the pieces together. Where was Ashley born? Ashley was born in Dauntless. Why did she change factions? She changed factions so she would be safe. Safe from what? The Initiation. Why? Because she's Divergent.

"I'm gonna try.. I just don't know if I'll be able to do it. It's far too easy for me to manipulate simulations."_ Manipulate simulations? _Is that why the Divergent are dangerous?

I feel a lump in my throat when she says the next line, "I'm aware during the simulations, and I can't control that. What if they find out?"

I was aware during the aptitude test simulation. Is that a Divergent trait? Am I Divergent?

Suddenly, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I jump and scream. _Shoot_, I think. I just blew my cover.

Ashley and her sister look at me like I've just grown a second head, and I see the man who tapped me is a factionless man asking for food. He apologizes and walks away.

"_What _are you doing _here?_" shouts Ashley.

"I.. I followed you, " I reply.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"

"I wanted to know what you've been up to this whole time, and what you've been hiding!"

"Well, now you know! Does it make you feel any better?"

Honestly, no. If anything, it makes me feel worse. Now, I get the feeling that I might be Divergent too.

"I.." I try to decide how to put it out there slowly, but then I decide on just saying it, "I think I might be Divergent too."

Ashley and her sister stare at me, their expressions almost impossible to read.

"I was aware that I was in a simulation during the aptitude test," I clarify, walking slowly towards them.

"You.. You were always so different. I.. I should've guessed, " says Ashley, "You need to be careful."

"Yeah, I know. I heard the conversation last night, " I say. Ashley seems to be a little surprised by this.

"Well, you both better watch out. It seems like someone is trying to catch you. I'm still trying to find out who it is, " says Ashley's sister.

"This is Jodie, by the way. My older sister. She transferred here four years ago. She's... also like us, " says Ashley.

"Tobias, " I say. She bobs her head in greeting, and so do I.

"Anyway, you both take care. Try to hide a little, " says Jodie.

"Wait! What.. exactly is _Divergent?_" I ask.

"Now's not the time, " Ashley replies, obviously annoyed, "I'll tell you later."

Jodie gives Ashley a huge hug and runs away. Ashley stares at me for a while, then nods her head and starts walking back the way we came.

* * *

**Thank you all for reading, hope you enjoyed, and please leave a review!  
Follows and favourites are appreciated as well!  
Have a great day :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello!** **  
First of all, I would like to thank everyone who reviewed and/or favourited and followed this story! It really means a lot. I also like reading suggestions, so feel free to post them as reviews or PM them to me. I'm open to criticism and new ideas that you wish to incorporate into the story.  
Second of all, I'm sorry I haven't been posting much lately. I haven't had much time because my new school year started this week and I've been busy. I'll try to update more frequently (I still need lots of inspiration to write, so reviews help!).  
I'll let you get on to the chapter now.  
**

**ENJOY :)!**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

The task assigned to my group today is very easy. We just have to fill up these plastic bags with a little food, blankets and clothing. The blankets and clothing are tattered and torn, so I assume they were donated more willingly than you would imagine.

As I pack my thirty-first bag, I can't help but think that these meagre resources are what one-third of the population survives on. I feel a twinge of guilt as I remember all the times I ate a full meal; at all the times I stocked up on blankets for the winter; at all the times I collected useless junk thinking my mother would be proud. Maybe I should have left those things where I found them. Maybe the factionless would've found them and _used _them.

I wake up from my daze when I hear someone snapping their fingers way too close to my ear. I jump up and see that my hands are squeezing this small piece of fabric.

"Wake up, Eaton," says a voice. I turn to my left and see Ashley standing there. She gives me a small smile, but it doesn't spread to her eyes. She walks back to where her plastic bag rests and continues packing it. I am suddenly reminded of what happened this morning. _I'm Divergent_. Those are the only words that swim around in my mind as I resume the task at hand - filling up these bags of rotten goods to give to people who are in deep need of them.

* * *

The morning goes by very slowly, with me counting each of my breaths. I spent the entire time thinking of why the Divergent are so dangerous that they have to add a special test to find them during initiation.

By the time it's lunch, my mind is drowning in questions about the Divergent and I'm about to lose it. I quickly sit down next to Ashley at our usual table near the window and fill my plate with the food laid out in front of us. Ashley must sense my restlessness because she smiles at me and mouths 'I'll tell you later'.

That calms me down a bit, but I still think about the Divergent and the conversation I heard last night.

After a few minutes, Ashley finishes the last morsel of food on her plate and we get up to wash our dishes. As we're about to leave, we see Sarah coming towards us. _Uh oh_. Sarah has a pretty tense expression on her face, and the fact that Ashley and I aren't exactly her favourite Initiates doesn't help.

"Can I speak to both of you?" asks Sarah.

Ashley stands stone-still, so I nod my head microscopically and Sarah leads us out of the room. We follow her down a series of dark gray hallways which were supposed to be out of bounds for us Initiates. After a few minutes of silent walking, we come to a dead end. There is a small keypad on the wall opposite us and Sarah types a code in it. The wall suddenly takes shape of a door and Sarah pushes it and walks through, with us trailing behind her.

Behind the door lies a small, stuffy room. The ceiling is higher than the rest in the building, but the walls are built close together and there are no windows. The room is only lit by two bulbs hanging from the ceiling and a lamp at the far end of the room. The room is sparsely furnished, with only a plastic gray chair and a half-torn sofa with two seats on it. Sarah walks towards the chair and motions for us to sit down on the sofa.

We sit down on the hard sofa and Sarah sits down in the chair. The lack of lighting doesn't allow us to see her expression, but I assume it's a mixture of anger and fear.

"Where were you both this morning?" she asks. I stiffen at the question, but Ashley glares at her.

"In the building," replies Ashley.

"No, you weren't. I saw you both leave the building."

"Then why didn't you stop us?" I say, without meaning to. Sarah looks at me and smiles a bit.

"Because then I wouldn't be able to confront you," she replies.

"'Confront us'?" says Ashley, "We're your Initiates. You shouldn't be confronting us."

"Well, I wouldn't have to if you both weren't so troublesome," replies Sarah.

"And we wouldn't have to be so troublesome if you didn't keep secrets," I say. I don't know how I managed to get those words out of my mouth. It must be Ashley's presence that gives me the courage.

"Secrets? We don't keep secrets," says Sarah.

"Yeah, right. We heard your little conversation last night. If you want to keep secrets, you should at least learn to be soft," says Ashley.

"I didn't think Marcus Eaton's son would spy on his own faction," says Sarah, clearly trying to make me the culprit.

"It must be how I've been raised," I say. Ashley and Sarah both stare at me, and I just realise what I've said. I blamed Marcus for my troublesome actions. All these years, Marcus blamed me for anything that went wrong and now I'm doing the same. A part of me feels good to finally be free from him, but a part of me knows that I might have just said the wrong thing.

"Well.. I called you here for something you both need," says Sarah.

"And what is that? Freedom?" says Ashley.

"No. A heads up."

_A heads up?_ Why would we need that?

"You both are Divergent," says Sarah. Ashley and I stiffen at the statement and, for a minute, I think of playing it cool, but I decide against it and keep my mouth shut.

"How do you know?" asks Ashley.

"When I found what a trouble you were, I looked into your test results and found that they were entered manually."

"You... You can't do that!" says Ashley. She looks terrified and I think she's about to run away any minute now, so I grab her arm firmly and she stares at me.

"I also looked into your tests, Tobias, but your result was Abnegation."

"Then why do you assume that I'm Divergent?" I ask.

"Because of the way you act. No pure Abnegation acts like this."

"Isn't that a complete guess?" I ask.

"It's a calculated guess. But I wanted to verify your Divergence. That's why I brought you here," she says. My grip on Ashley's arm loosens and we stare at each other, our expressions mirroring each others feelings; Fear. I'm about to jump up and run out of the room, but Sarah stops me with her words.

"I'm here to help you." she says. Ashley and I stare at her, trying to believe that she would actually try to help us.

"I.. I only want you both to be safe. So.. I'm going to try to change the test for both of you. But to do that, I need to know how strong your Divergence is," says Sarah.

"Do you want to be safe?" she asks me. I stare at her, and think, _Of course I do_. But I can't say it. I don't want to trust her, and yet I do. I don't want to believe her words, and yet I do. I don't want to see her as a mother figure, and yet I do. So, I nod my head a little as I let go of Ashley's arm. I can feel her stare piercing through me, but I keep my head straight as Sarah gets up and goes to the far end of the room to retrieve something.

Sarah comes back with two small black boxes and one larger one. Ashley clutches my arm as Sarah opens one of the small black boxes to reveal a black syringe.

"Don't worry. I'm sure you've heard of the fear simulations, as part of the Dauntless Initiation," says Sarah, gesturing towards Ashley.

Ashley gulps and her grip on my arm tightens, her nails digging into my skin. I stifle a scream. _The Fear Simulations? _

"It's not as bad as you think," says Sarah, obviously sensing our unease, "I mean, so many Dauntless survived it. You have to survive it if you want to get through Initiation."

"But.. Why?" I ask.

"The true brave are the ones who can face their fears head on," says Ashley, almost mechanically.

Sarah nods a little and continues, "There are two types of fear simulations: the Fear Landscape, where people are aware that they are in a simulation and can, to some extent, manipulate it. The other is where you are not aware, and cannot normally manipulate it."

"'Normally'?" I ask.

"The Divergent can, " replies Sarah. Her small smile vanishes. "You'll be put through the simulation which you shouldn't be able to control. It's kind of like the aptitude test... Who wants to go first?"

Ashley looks half-dead, her face paler than ever, as she sits still as a statue. Perhaps it's bravery that compels me to say this, or perhaps it's the fact that Ashley is practically a stone, but I say, "Me."

Sarah looks a little happy, but she also looks a little scared. She nods her head a little and opens the bigger black box and takes out some strange paraphernalia consisting of some form of electrodes.

Soon, I'm sitting with my head up in the chair, looking at Sarah. She carefully tilts my head sideways and injects me with the strange liquid inside the syringe. The needle stings for a while, but then the pain is replaced by a strange drowsy feeling that slowly engulfs me. After about a minute, I black out.

* * *

I wake up in a different room. _Different? _What is this different from? I can't remember. I can't remember where I am or how I came here or what it is I was doing. All I know is I'm awake. And I'm terrified.

The cool metal floor stings my bare feet as I slowly walk around the room, trying to figure out where I am. That's when I hear the footsteps. They are pretty faint, but they keep getting louder and louder, the intensity breaking me to bits. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears as a strange shadow enters my vision. The figure walks forward slowly, and I move backwards. Moving slowly, he enters the lit area and I realise I know him. The short hair, the lean figure, the patronizing expression... It's Marcus.

Marcus slowly removes his belt as he walks towards me. Then, almost like magic, a dozen Marcuses appear around the room, all with the same expression. They all undo their belts and pull them up, getting ready to swing. Then, in unison, they say, "This is for your own good."

That's the last thing I see before I feel the swing. It keeps coming until I can't feel anything. That's when I remember, _this isn't real._ Suddenly, I remember where I am. I'm in an old room in The Confinement. I'm with Sarah and Ashley and I can get out of here. I just need to remind myself. The next blow comes. I think of everyone I know. _Marcus._ The edge of the belt stings my face. _My mother._ The belt slaps my side. _Sarah_. The belt pierces through the skin on my calf. _Ashley._ The sound of leather hitting skin intensifies in my ears. _Beatrice. _I forget everything that's happening. I picture Beatrice in my mind, her long blond hair swaying in the wind; her beautiful smile; her sweet, contagious laughter; her gentle yet strong features. I lose myself in the images of the people I know or once knew, and I black out.

* * *

I wake, barely being able to breathe. I see Sarah directly in front of me, staring at me wide-eyed. She gets up, removing something from her head, and I get up from the chair.

"How did you do that?" she asks.

"Do what?" I reply.

"Get yourself to forget what was happening?"

"Oh.. um.. I just did."

"Strange.. I've never seen anyone wake up from a simulation like that before. They usually manipulate the objects... Not their thoughts."

I feel a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. _Did I do something wrong?_

"Okay.. Ashley, your turn, " says Sarah.

"No.. I don- I don't want to.. I really don't..." says Ashley.

"Don't worry, Ashley. I just have to reconfirm your Divergence."

"Wasn't once enough?! My result was inconclusive! I'm Divergent! I'm a mixture of Dauntless and Candor and I can control simulations! I don't think you need to 'reconfirm' that I can do that."

Sarah purses her lips as she thinks this over. It's true that Ashley's result was inconclusive so it should be obvious that she's Divergent. Mine was fake, so I can understand why my Divergence needed to be verified.

"Okay, " says Sarah. She picks up the apparatus and starts packing it. Ashley looks terrified and I can see a few tears rolling down her face. She covers her face with her hands and starts crying. I have no idea why, but I wrap my arms around her and give her a huge hug. The fear simulation was terrifying, but not as bad as she thinks. What does she have to fear so bad that she practically screamed her head off so that she wouldn't have to face her fears? That's when it hits me - her Divergence wasn't the only reason she transferred to Abnegation.

"Both of you can go for a small walk or something, if you want, " says Sarah, putting the boxes back where they belong.

"Okay, " I say. I let go of Ashley and we walk outside.

* * *

Outside, Ashley and I part ways. The sky is a little blue and pink, hinting that it's around 6. _How long were we in that strange room?_ I think. It was a long walk to and from the place, and the simulation must've lasted a while.

I walk to the same place I went the last time, not knowing what I expected. Part of me prays that Beatrice waits for me yet again, but I know that it's a very stupid desire. I walk by the building where I met her, disappointed that she's not there. I didn't expect her to be, but I had my hopes high. I walk straight ahead to this small area which used to be a beach. The sand remains on the ground, slowly being dampened by the flowing waves. I stand there, my shoes getting soaked as the tide comes in, taking in the freedom. _Is this what my mother felt like? _I find that most of my thoughts are somewhat linked to my mother, as if she's still alive. As if she's still hiding somewhere, waiting for me to find her. But I know she isn't. She wouldn't leave me alone with Marcus.

"I didn't expect you to be here, " says a voice. I jump at the sudden breach in the silence and turn around, only to find the same blond hair and small features as yesterday.

"I didn't either. I mean, I didn't expect to see you here either, " I reply. I notice a small bag in her hands - she must have been collecting her monthly food allotments.

"Well, it's nice meeting you again."

"You too." I can't let her know I was kind of hoping to meet her.

"How is Initiation?"

"Strange."

"How so?"

"Well... It's confinement. They're imprisoning us and forcing us to help others."

She laughs a bit and says, "That's not entirely true. I mean, you're here, aren't you?"

"Yeah.. I'm sorry, I've just been having a bad day."

"It's fine. I'm not exactly a fan of this life either."

"What do you mean?" I ask, suddenly scared and a little hopeful at the same time.

"They can't force us to be one thing." I know I agree with her, I really do, I just can't bring myself to admit it. I don't want to be confined to a certain way of thinking.

"Don't you think you're taking a big risk here? You're trusting an absolute stranger to keep this secret thinking process of yours."

"You're not a stranger... You.. You're different. I just know I can trust you." I feel a weight lift off my chest. She trusts me.

"The Abnegation are probably the only people who trust so easily. All you have to do is think like the others."

"And it seems that you think like me." I do. I do think like her. We both are awkward. We're both not pure Abnegation. _Is she Divergent too?_ Maybe she is. I have no way of knowing - she's just fourteen.

"I have to go now, Beatrice, " I say, walking away.

"Tris."

I turn back around to face her.

"It's.. Tris."

"Tris?"

"Yeah.. I like it more."

I smile a little. "Bye, Tris."

She smiles and turns to face the sea. I walk away, and back to the Confinement. I can't stop myself from smiling like a complete idiot. _Tris. _She's absolutely beautiful, trustworthy, and I just like her. I don't know why, but I do. I really, really like her.

* * *

**I'm sorry if this chapter wasn't very good. I was having serious writer's block while writing, and it took me quite a while to finish it.  
If you liked this chapter, be sure to leave a review; it really helps me out!  
Stay awesome, and have a great day!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi there!  
Firstly, I would like to give a big thanks to anyone to reviewed! Reviews really help inspire and motivate me to write :)  
Secondly, I'm sorry this update took me a while, but I was quite busy this past week and now that I finally got down to doing it, I might try to post the next chapter a little sooner.  
Lastly, I would like to apologise in advance if this chapter isn't very good. I'm still working on my writing skills and I'm only thirteen.  
Wow. Sorry to anyone who read that.  
I'm gonna stop rambling now and let you get on to the chapter.**

**Enjoy :)!**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

I wake up feeling very happy and giddy. I stumble out of bed and walk to the bathroom to take a shower and get dressed. At first, I think that I'm genuinely feeling happy, but then I remember what happened last night.

_Tris. _

As soon as I think her name, an image floats to my mind; an image of her. Her light, blond hair dancing in the wind; her soft, blue eyes swirling around in gray; her bright, cheery laugh whistling through the air. Tris wasn't just beautiful, she was something else. She was _real. _

The only real people I've ever known were my mother and Ashley, but now I add Tris to the list. While I'm thinking of all my acquaintances, I think of Sarah. Sarah helped Ashley and me even though her life and job were at risk. I hadn't thought about this yesterday, but under the lukewarm water softly falling on my head, I wonder _why. _Why did Sarah want to help us? Why did she specifically want to save the Divergent? Why is she putting her life in jeopardy for two Initiates she hates?

Suddenly, the water stops falling on me. My seven minutes in the shower must be up. I dry myself and get dressed, trying to shove these new thoughts to the back of my mind. But it doesn't work.

* * *

I walk into the Dining Hall looking more awake than I've felt in the past few days. I see Ashley sitting at our usual table, her appearance perfectly contrasting what I'm feeling. In my tangled web of thoughts, I forgot to think about Ashley. She completely freaked out in the dark room yesterday - I had never seen her like that before. I always thought she was so strong and fearless, but I guess her armour has been shedding.

I walk towards her, trying to look a little more miserable. I don't want her to feel like she's the only one affected by yesterday's strange incident. When I get to her table, I sit a few seats away from Ashley, suddenly terrified of her. I quietly serve myself food, suddenly feeling like an intruder. I try to keep my gaze on my food, feeling like she's an angry animal and I must not agitate her. I mentally slap myself for thinking these things. Ashley's my _friend_; not an angry lion.

"You know, you can talk to me, " says Ashley, staring down at her empty plate, seeming to have read my mind.

"I know, " is the only thing I can mutter out. Even if she doesn't acknowledge it, I know she's a mess and she doesn't want to talk much.

"Then why do you look so afraid?" asks Ashley. She looks up at me and I see her eyes are red, with dark circles under them. Her face sags in weird places and looks rather puffy. She looks like she spent all night crying. I get more terrified. I straighten my back and try to look more brave.

"I'm not, " I reply. Ashley laughed a little in a mocking way.

"What happened to you?" I ask. Ashley stares at me, as if to say '_Really?_'.

"I mean, I know that it was bad yesterday, but... I didn't think it would affect you like this, " I quickly say.

"Why are you acting like you were so afraid of the whole thing? You clearly found it easy. You don't have to try to act like a wimp to make me feel better."

I stare at her, astonished. How could she think I was trying to act scared to make her feel better? I just didn't want her to perceive me as someone who's not scared of anything.

Ashley gets up, taking her plate with her, and walks out of the room. For one second, I think of following her but I'm too hurt to do anything. I don't know why I am, but this searing pain goes through my body, making me want to scream. It feels like she thinks I'm just like everybody else. I don't know why her judgement matters so much to me, but I don't want her to see me as another Abnegation soulless being. I'm different, I'm Divergent. It seems as if Ashley is the only person in the world who can help me in my fight and I don't want her to walk out on me like this.

Without thinking another thought, I pick up my plate and rush out the door. I walk down a few hallways and see Ashley standing against a wall, staring out the window. I quietly walk towards her, again cautious of her shifting moods.

"Ashley.. I'm not acting like a wimp, " I say. She twirls her head around, startled at the sudden breach in silence.

"Yes you are. You're just an Abnegation boy trying to make an Abnegation girl feel better about herself, " she says.

"No, I'm not. I'm a Divergent boy trying to make a Divergent girl realise that I'm human too."

"Then why don't _you _realise that I have fears?"

"I realised that. You just.. acted like you weren't scared of anything."

"You thought I was fearless? Being fearless isn't the point - it's impossible - but learning to act under fear.. That's the real challenge."

Her words echo in my mind long after she's said them. _Being fearless isn't the point. Learning to act under fear is._

"Anyway, I'm giving you knowledge you already have, " she says.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, look at you! You're a boy who has lived in Abnegation all his life and yet looks so strong and brave!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, stiffening at her thinking I'm just another Abnegation boy.

"Tobias, you've never seen yourself. You are... You are the epitome of bravery. You don't have to choose Dauntless to show that."

"You don't know what a coward I am. You can't call me brave."

"Tobias, you don't have to jump off moving trains or win fights against a boulder of a man! You question things you don't believe in. You go against everything you've been taught, even when you're surrounded by the people who taught them to you! I don't know why you doubt your bravery or qualities, but you should at least try to get this through your head! _You are brave! You are selfless!_"

I stare at her, expressionless. Ashley just spoke her heart out about how my suspicions were wrong. She doesn't think I'm another Abnegation fool or entirely selfless. I smile a little inside, but I can't bring it to my face. _I am brave. I am selfless. _Just the right mixture of both. Not brave enough to be an idiot; not selfless enough to be mindless. _Just Divergent enough. _

"I want you to meet someone, Ashley, " I blurt out. I don't know why I said that, but my words took over me before I could take them back.

"What? Who?" she asks, crossing her arms over her chest. I don't know what to say. I really don't know what I was thinking when I said that, but I guess I wanted my friends to meet. If I can call them my friends.

"Someone. I want you both to meet. Meet me outside the building at 4 P.M sharp."

Ashley stares at me, as if expecting me to do something. After a few seconds she looks away, looking disappointed.

"Alright, " she says, walking away at the speed of a snail.

After she's gone, I gulp and sit down against the wall. _What did I just do? _

* * *

**Yeah, this chapter wasn't very good :/ Sorry. I know it wasn't very clear, but I think the next one might make things a little clearer. Also, you can try and interpret anything :) If you have any ideas you want me to incorporate into this story, let me know! (Feel free to review, favourite, follow and PM).  
Until next time, have a great one!**

**~ ριє**


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